Thursday, August 1, 2013


It's been 4 weeks and two days since my world fell apart.

But I am still here.

Surrounded by the devastation of broken dreams, I know I have no choice but to try to figure out how to get the hell back up.

They say the grief process is not linear, and now I can say I agree with that. There are just so many triggers. I never know when I'll encounter one, but I am trying to just let myself experience the pain as the waves hit.

And hit they do. While at work, walking down the street, climbing the steep stairway to my apartment, or hanging out at a BBQ. I am getting used to crying in all sorts of places. Thankfully I am surrounded by a supportive community.

They say the only way out is through. So I am trying to make my way through.

I find solace in the river and water. Usually I walk to the water on my lunch break because it helps somehow. I am thankful for working near the water, loving friends and family, Booboo, daisies, waterproof mascara, sunglasses and my favorite dresses.

The worst month of my life (thus far, and I surely hope, ever) is over. Here's to a less bad August.


  1. Hugs and hugs. I really wish and hope that things will get better. If you feel pain, if you need to cry, allow yourself to feel what you need, and then let it go. And grasp those things that make you feel better, even if for only a few hours. Walks, the water... Sending you all the love and support.

  2. I second everything Amanda said, especially about grasping things that make you feel better. I hope August brings lots of those things.

  3. *hugs* Keep hanging in there. I hope that things continue to get better and easier for you.