Thursday, December 12, 2013

The boots are on.

Crisis: Dead-End or Transformation

This was in my neighbors' mail outside their door. I took it as extra motivation to fight my way through to the other side of this experience. I recently watched Under the Tuscan Sun, and it's just like when Patti says to Frances (whose husband left her for another woman):  
"You know when you come across one of those empty shell people, and you think 'What the hell happened to you?' Well there came a time in each one of those lives where they are standing at a crossroads... someplace where they had to decide whether to turn left or right. This is no time to be a chicken-shit, Frances."
Today my ex moved his stuff out.

I was ready for this step and had been for a long time. But it was difficult anyways. The day before and during the move, I was unexpectedly really sad. These five months of seeing his stuff in his office and around the apartment haven't been too helpful for my healing process, I imagine, and I was eager to have it out so I could continue healing and rebuilding my life. But yeah...I didn't know I would feel so sad about it when the time actually got here. I guess it's because it's just so final. Not really knowing what to do, I sat in the empty-feeling living room on a wooden chair, shivering with cold as the -15 degree Celsius bitter air from outside cut through the apartment every time the movers opened the door. Watching the procession of furniture and belongings descend out to the crunchy-snow cold made the death of my marriage concrete.

Two more big hurdles are left. Monday he takes Booboo. I can't even think about that because it upsets me so much. And then there's the finalization of the divorce. As I understand it, one day I will just get a divorce certificate in the mail confirming I am divorced. I so want it to come before Christmas. I guess that day too will be sad, judging from how all these other steps have been so far, but I've put on my boots. I know there is no way out but through. Indeed, it's no time to be a chicken-shit.


  1. Push on through to the other side! Geez! None of my business, but WHY are you letting him take Booboo? Sorry, that is NOT a nice man!

    I would hide Booboo somewhere else - friend's house? boarding facility? and change all the locks.

    1. Agreed. Why does he get Booboo??

      P.S. I had a Rottweiler growing up named Booboo, which solidifies my belief that you should get to keep yours.

  2. I firmly agree that Booboo should stay with you. But, if the move is happening, I have a secret message for Booboo.

    Dear Booboo,

    As of Tuesday, you are hereby encouraged to "forget" how to use the litterbox. Anger-pee on everything in sight.

    Love, Petite Chablis

    1. I just read Booboo your letter as he stood on the arm of my chair and purred and head-butted me throughout.

  3. Hi SewTypical, Breck and Petite Chablis,

    Booboo was his cat before I knew him. :(

    I asked if he would consider letting Booboo stay with me, and he said no. So...that's why. I worry about Booboo because the ex travels alot and his gf has cats. (Booboo is def way happier as a solo cat, as we discovered a few years ago.) ex knows my concerns and there's not much I can do about it. I will just try to enjoy this weekend with Booboo and survive Monday and the days after sans Booboo.

  4. oh my, I'm so sad that you'll have to live sans booboo. Wish you could keep him.
    good luck on Monday and on your way through.
    Métamorphose is in the stars for you.

  5. Oh, I'm so sorry that he's taking Booboo!! That really sucks. Big hugs to help you get through the next few days. I hope you get that certificate before Christmas, too. It seems like it would be fitting to have it all tied up before the year ends.