Deux.

Photo credit: Martin Dallaire

Today is our second wedding anniversary.

And we are approximately 4589 miles apart (as the crow flies) with an ocean between us. S is scheduled to return tomorrow (unless, you know, transportation strikes in Greece prevent that), so we are going to celebrate after he is back home and after we decide what we want to do exactly. The only thing nailed down so far is the exchange of anniversary letters/notes, which is a tradition we started last year.

It's hard to believe it's been two years already. Sometimes the wedding just doesn't seem very long ago. I mean, we only recently got some wedding photos printed, put in frames, and hung because I finally became convinced that it needed to be done before our second anniversary rolled around. And I must say that I love wandering by and stopping to look at the photos. Unfortunately, the same determination did not carry over to the (still non-existent) wedding album. Maybe I can manage to do that before our third anniversary? Oh, and we still want to take a (belated) honeymoon sometime. (Though I wonder if we can still even call it that, this far into the game?) Now that I can come and go from Canada without the risk of being turned away at the border, we can start thinking towards this more concretely...

Twenty-five-and-a-half months ago, I was in Chicago, on the verge of moving to Québec and marrying S. It was an intense time of change. Since my move, we got engaged, got married, had a 10 month-long back-and-forth-between-two-cities living arrangement, did our first international travel together (Italy), made two more (in-country) moves resulting in us finally living in only one apartment together, established our combined home together, tried to potty-train our cat, prepared and submitted my immigration application, waited through seven months of unknowing which made for a challenging winter, and then received news of my approval for permanent residency while on our second international trip together in Paris this past May. That was monumental in that it removed the undercurrent of fear that I had felt when I would think about the possibility that we could be separated from each other. It also felt like I finally could begin putting down roots here outside of the walls of our apartment, and start integrating more with the community. I looked for work and then got two jobs, which I started this fall. When I think through the last 24-ish months that way, I realize that these first two years of our marriage have been chock full of change.


But despite that, it's felt somehow stable because we did it together. The best thing has been just living and doing normal day-to-day stuff with my love who is also my best friend. Sometimes I still just can't believe how fortunate I am to have found the person I want to share my life with—and we even get to live in the same place! (Maybe this never gets old for people that go through years of long-distance?) There are times when I can't get over how fun it is just to hang out together doing normal things, and it feels like being at summer camp.

Two years feels more substantial somehow. Kinda like being in my thirties feels different than my twenties, in a really good way.

Cats 1- Humans 0

After several more days of flip-flopping between wanting to enlarge the hole in the litter box to go to the next step in toilet training with Booboo, and wanting to quit and bring back the old standard litter box, Booboo went "number two" on the bathroom rug again. The bathroom rug that I had JUST washed and put on the floor. That event was the deciding factor: S went immediately and got the normal litter box out of our storage unit and made the switch while Booboo and I sat in the bathroom and watched the process.

Shortly after that, S caught Booboo looking back and forth between the litter box and the toilet seat. Booboo started to hop onto the toilet seat, but then paused and decided he would rather use his former litter box. And he hasn't turned back.

I guess in some ways it feels like a bit of a failure to give up on potty training and it's somehow a little sad to know Booboo could probably do it, but we think Booboo is happier using his normal litter box. And in the 24 hours since we switched back, I am actually happier too because I am not constantly having to clean the toilet and vacuum the floor and wash rugs and have potty dances. And ultimately, a happy Booboo makes us happy.

And maybe Booboo might go back to being my bathroom buddy? I missed that while we were potty training.

A bigger hole, setbacks, and wonderings.

Well, it's been a while since I've updated on the process of toilet training our cat, Booboo. Here are the first, second, and third posts on our process. Up through the time of that last post, it was a very smooth and natural adjustment for Booboo. Then at the end of September, S changed the hole in the litter box from a soda can to a yogurt container.

This means it became much easier for Booboo's paw to slip down the hole and land in the toilet water, so he has had to learn how to navigate around it. Going from a soda can to a yogurt container was a bit of a jump in size, but we were confident Booboo could handle it. Unfortunately, at that same time, we ran out of litter and I replaced it with a different flushable kind that was cedar. Big mistake, big. Huge! This is the point where we first encountered some resistance from Booboo. He began to hold "number 2" and even used rugs multiple times instead of his litter box. And, of course, holding it for longer than normal made it difficult when he actually did go, which made him want to hold it more. (Even during this time, he still always went "number 1" in the litter box for some inexplicable reason.) I started to do some research and discovered a forum for toilet training cats. I learned about doing the "potty dance" and began to spend a lot of time with Booboo in the bathroom trying to convince him to "go" on the toilet. (The term "dance" does not properly convey the way I felt during all this time in the bathroom with Booboo, though perhaps it does indicate the joy that comes after he finally does "go" in the toilet.) We started incorporating treats and lots of praise every time he went "number two" in the litter box.

I think that time of setbacks and potty dancing was mostly due to my changing the litter to a type Booboo did not like, which unfortunately, coincided with the introduction of the larger hole in the litter box and a change in his food, based on a recommendation from his vet. Thankfully, after we switched the litter to his previous flushable litter, Booboo has only "gone" in the litter box. At this same time, we also decided to take some steps back to try to firmly re-establish Booboo's comfort level with the litter box. S temporarily closed the hole by placing another (unaltered) yogurt container of the same size inside the hole in the box. He filled up this new yogurt container with litter to the same level as the rest of the box. This left the structure of the hole in place so that Booboo still had to step over and around it, but removed any danger of falling in the toilet water. Over the next week or two, we gradually reduced the level of litter inside the yogurt container insert until there was no longer any litter it. As the level in the yogurt container insert was getting lower, Booboo (mostly) stopped stepping in the hole and began to navigate it successfully.

After we were sure he was comfortable at this stage, S then cut a hole in the very bottom of the yogurt container insert that was slightly smaller than its diameter. This was to re-introduce the presence of toilet water below the litter box in as non-threatening of a way as possible. After a couple weeks at this stage, S removed the yogurt container insert so that we are now back at where we were at the end of September. (See the above photo.) Booboo now seems comfortable with the size of the hole and balances on the toilet seat very well. For the last few weeks, we have begun encouraging proper positioning on the toilet seat (which means having no feet in the litter box.) On his own, he has used proper positioning at least once, but most of the time, he has his front two paws on the toilet seat and the back two in the litter box. We figure increasing the size of the hole (very slowly over time) will teach him how keep his feet only on the seat as the walkable space of the litter box decreases. We know he is capable of using proper positioning, since he has done it with our help and by himself, so that's good.

Judging by how adaptive Booboo has been during this process, we think he could master the toilet training. It is a very long process (much, much longer than we anticipated). Though we have now learned that it sometimes takes a year or more, the timing doesn't really bother us too much because the end result would be well worth it, as far as the litter goes. But now we are questioning if we want to continue the process because we are wondering if Booboo is simply happier with his normal litter box. We started toilet training right after we moved, so we have too many variables to determine causation with any accuracy, but we agree that Booboo seems less happy now than he seemed before the move. Booboo has been sleeping with us less, and we don't know if it is the move, the still-unsettled apartment, the changes in S's work schedule, the change in his food, the orientation of furniture in the new bedroom, or the toilet training.

So......we are carefully watching Booboo's mood. This last week, he has been sleeping with us more like he used to, so maybe he is getting back to his happy "Montréal self"? Of course, maybe this has to do with the fact that we hung dark curtains in the bedroom last weekend, instead of the white ones we have had up since the move and which let in lots of light at night. Maybe Booboo likes a dark sleeping environment and it is as simple as that? Or maybe Booboo is thankful we went back to his old food which he prefers. It's so hard to know. We will see if his mood seems to improve, and if it doesn't, we will, of course, abandon the toilet training. We just want Booboo to be happy.

Hole 1.

We have made a new step in our potty training efforts with our cat, Booboo. As you may already know, we began the process by putting his litter box beside the toilet, then on the toilet, and then inside the rim of the toilet. Over the weekend, S took the next step and added a small hole! S cut down a soda can and used a soldering iron to cut a soda-can-sized hole in the center of the box, attaching it with a glue gun. (This step happened without the litter in the box. But those pictures are kinda gross because of the dirty litter box. We are trying to keep the "scent" of the box constant so Booboo will recognize it and feel comfortable, even with the changes we are making. So....I apologize for the dirty litter box photos necessary to share the process.)
 

 

We introduced Booboo to the new hole. S picked up Booboo and put him up on the toilet seat/litter box so he could check it out. Booboo actually checked it out more than we had anticipated by using it right then. Haha.

 

Below you see him trying to cover by scratching at the toilet seat. Too funny.

 

He walks around fine on the toilet seat, but he usually has two feet in the litter box when he "goes."  Now with the addition of the little hole, we have introduced the concept of having to navigate a hole (with water and open space below.) However, this hole is so small that Booboo seems not to mind at all, which is exactly what we want. Over time, we will slowly increase the size of the hole and Booboo will have to figure out how to adjust his potty approach to compensate. 

Potty training a cat is a slow process. Or at least, we believe it is most effective to make it a slow process. Booboo has been adjusting very well and has not freaked out at any stage thus far. But I must also add, this process involves frequent cleaning. Booboo usually gets the flushable litter on the toilet seat and sometimes on the floor, so we keep a spray cleaner and vaccuum right by the toilet, always ready. Thankfully our current litter box has vertical walls which minimize the escape of litter more than if the box had more curved sides, like a bowl (which some people use when potty-training cats). And I will say that we are now a fan of the flushable litter. Even if we don't succeed in potty-training Booboo, we might stick with this (more expensive) litter anyways. We think we somehow use less and it's so easy to dump it in the toilet a couple times a day, and never have to deal with it again. I guess it is more eco-friendly too?

Anyhow, we are proud of Booboo's progress and anticipate the day he will be able to "go" on the toilet one day without a litter box, even though Booboo's new vet does not seems so confident in the idea. I took Booboo to her the other day (for the first time that he has been to a vet since he was a wee kitten) and I was explaining that we were trying to potty-train Booboo. She looked at me like she slightly doubted my sanity and said, "Well, you know, cats' brains are small, and if it doesn't work, well....they have small brains, and it might not work." But so far, so good. We have high hopes that Booboo has a bigger-than-average cat brain.

The next step in the quest for a potty-trained cat.

As I mentioned a while back, we are trying to toilet train our cat, Booboo. After a month of having Booboo's regular litter box on top of the toilet, we made the move to a smaller litter box that sits within the toilet, almost flush. (Haha....) Anyhow, we got the red litter box, but it was slightly too big, so S used a blow torch to melt the plastic to the right size to fit the toilet securely. The box holds in place perfectly now!

We filled the box with litter then brought Booboo in to check it out. Booboo climbed up to inspect the new arrangement, but seemed a little hesitant about the toilet seat aspect of it. He sniffed but did not use the litter box.

After several hours and no evidence that he had adjusted to the new set-up, we decided we should take a smaller step before we introduce the lid. So here is our current set-up:

Since we made this adjustment, Booboo has been using the litter box. We figure we will keep it this way for maybe about a week or so, before we put the lid back down. After he gets used to balancing on the lid, we will begin taking the next steps to wean him off the litter box.

So....slowly but surely, we are making progress.